Jane Austen; Seth Grahame Smith Pr

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Mr. Bingley heard with real sorrow that they were to go so soon, and repeatedly tried to persuade Miss Bennet that it would not be safe for her-that she was not enough recovered to fight if the
carriage should meet with trouble; but Jane reminded him that Elizabeth was as capable a bodyguard as there was in all of England.
To Mr. Darcy it was welcome intelligence-Elizabeth had been at Netherfield long enough. She attracted him more than he liked-and Miss Bingley was uncivil to her, and more teasing than usual to
himself. He resolved that no sign of admiration should now escape him. Steady to his purpose, he scarcely spoke ten words to her through the whole of Saturday, and though they were at one time left
by themselves for half an hour, he adhered most conscientiously to his book, and would not even look at her.
On Sunday, after morning service, the separation took place. Miss Bingley s civility to Elizabeth increased at last very rapidly, as well as her affection for Jane; and when they parted, after
assuring the latter of the pleasure it would always give her to see her either at Longbourn or Netherfield and embracing her most tenderly, she even shook hands with the former. Elizabeth took leave
of the whole party in the liveliest of spirits.
The ride to Longbourn was altogether agreeable, save for a brief encounter with a small herd of zombie children, no doubt from Mrs. Beechman s Home for Orphans, which had recently fallen
along with the entire parish of St. Thomas. Mr. Bingley s coachman could not help
but vomit down the front of his cravat at the sight of the tiny devils grazing on sun-hardened corpses in a nearby field. Elizabeth kept her musket close, lest they advance. But luck was on their
side, and the cursed children took no notice of the carriage.
They were not welcomed home very cordially by their mother. Mrs. Bennet thought them very wrong to give so much trouble, and was sure Jane would have caught cold again. Her protests were
inflamed by the sight of vomit on the coachman s cravat-a sure sign that they had encountered unmentionables en route. But their father was truly glad to see them, for the evening sparring sessions
had lost much of their animation by the absence of Jane and Elizabeth.
They found Mary, as usual, deep in the study of human nature; Catherine and Lydia had information for them of a different sort. Much had been done and much had been said in the regiment
since the preceding Wednesday; several of the officers had dined lately with their uncle, a private had been flogged for engaging in base acts with a headless corpse, and it had actually been hinted
that Colonel Forster was going to be married.
Pride And Prejudice And Zombies
CHAPTER 13
I HOPE, MY DEAR, said Mr. Bennet to his wife, as they were at breakfast the next morning, that you have ordered a good dinner to-day, because I have reason to expect an addition to our
family party. Who do you mean, my dear? I know of nobody that is coming, I am sure, unless Charlotte Lucas should happen to call in-and I am sure my dinners are good enough for her, since she is
an unmarried woman of seven-and-twenty, and as such should expect little more than a crust of bread washed down with a cup of loneliness.
The person of whom I speak is a gentleman, and a stranger.
Mrs. Bennet s eyes sparkled. A gentleman and a stranger! It is Mr. Bingley, I am sure! I shall be extremely glad to see Mr. Bingley. But- good Lord! How unlucky! There is not a bit of fish to be got
to-day. Lydia, my love, ring the bell-I must speak to Hill this moment.
It is not Mr. Bingley, you senseless old cur, said her husband; it is a person whom I never saw in the whole course of my life.
After amusing himself some time with their curiosity, he thus explained:
About a month ago I received this letter; and about a fortnight ago I answered it. It is from my cousin, Mr. Collins, who, when I am dead, may turn you all out of this house as soon as he pleases.
Oh! My dear, cried his wife, Pray do not talk of that odious man. I do think it is the hardest thing in the world that your estate should be entailed away from your own children!
Jane and Elizabeth tried to explain that all five of them were capable of fending for themselves; that they could make tolerable fortunes as bodyguards, assassins, or mercenaries if need be. But
it was a subject on which Mrs. Bennet was beyond the reach of reason, and she continued to rail bitterly against the cruelty of settling an estate away from a family of five daughters, in favour of a man
whom nobody cared anything about. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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