Craig Shaw Gardner Wuntvor 02 An Excess Of Enchantments

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allow. I knew, when she talked to me that way, that she truly loved
me. Sometime, when we were not in the middle of an ongoing crisis, I
would have to prove to her how much that love meant to me.
"Doom." The word echoed all around as a large shape loomed before us
in the clearing. A summer breeze sprang up, whisking the remaining
smoke away in an instant.
Norei whistled. "This Mother Duck likes her special effects, doesn't
she?"
"Doom." The large warrior Hendrek appeared before us, the cursed
warclub Headbasher at his side. "I am the first trial."
"Hendrek?" I asked my large friend. "What trial?"
But the large warrior continued to advance on us, his only reply
another muttered "Doom." I tried to catch his eye, but his face was
without expression. I understood at once. Apparently, Mother Duck was
still exerting her control on some of us.
I lifted my sword before me. "Hendrek, think what you are doing.
Don't force me to use this."
"Just what are you suggesting?" Cuthbert demanded. "Oh, no matter how
many times you have reassured me, I knew this would happen! There's
going to be blood!"
"Your sword is no match for this." Hendrek smiled unnaturally,
lifting his club.
"He's right, you know," Cuthbert interjected hurriedly. "Other
methods are called for. Methods that don't involve swords."
"Come," the warrior beckoned, "and let me add you to my list of
victims."
"Oh, no you don't!" my beloved interjected. "If you attack Wuntvor,
you must attack me as well!"
What was Norei saying? I thrust my sword even farther forward,
ignoring the blade's whining pleas. I had to protect my beloved!
"Doom," the warrior replied with a frown. "If that's the way you want
it." Taking a final step in our direction, he lifted
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Headbasher high over his head.
Norei spoke a quick string of arcane syllables, snapping her fingers
twice.
The warclub reversed direction and hit Hendrek's helmet with a
resounding clang.
"Do--urk!" the warrior remarked as he crumpled to the ground.
"Simple violence-reversal spell," the young witch explained.
"I don't know if it should be going this way," an older woman's voice
complained somewhere out in the forest.
"Now you know how I felt!" a gruff and wolfish voice replied.
"Mother Duck will not be defeated. It is time for the next trial!
And--," she added, raising her voice, "if anyone uses magic to save
the handsome prince, it will be their last act!"
"Norei!" I cried, frightened for my beloved.
But the young witch only smiled at my concern. "Do not worry,
Wuntvor. As you said, we are together. We will think of something."
Once again, from out of nowhere, smoke surrounded us. It cleared even
more quickly this time, to show us two demons, one of whom was
already beating a drum.
The other demon seemed to hesitate. After a moment he started, as if
he had been asleep on his feet, and cleared his throat, a truly
horrendous sound. He spoke:
"Guxx--uh--Unfufadoo--er--hypnotized demon, Um-- Sees a prince who's
ripe for beating, Sees a prince who's--uh--ready to topple, Sees
someone who--um--will make an okay meal!"
Norei frowned. "Guxx!" she demanded. 'The rhythm on that is terrible!
Do you expect us to quake in fear with verse like that?"
"Um," Guxx replied, for he, too, seemed to be suffering from one of
Mother Duck's spells. "I suppose not. Um--" He frowned, his oversized
fangs making small marks in his lower lip and chin. "What do you
suggest?"
"More active verbs," Norei suggested. "I mean, what do you do with
your meals?"
"Oh, I see." The demon's hideous green tongue stuck out
of the comer of his mouth as he was temporarily lost in thought. He
mumbled: "Guxx Unfufadoo, dada demon, / Sees a prince dadada beating,
/ Sees dadada dada topple--"
Guxx paused and smiled. "Yes, that's much better." He raised his
voice and enunciated every word: "Sees a prince who's good for eat--"
Guxx Unfufadoo began to sneeze.
"A natural rhyming talent!" the drum-beating Brax proclaimed as the
larger demon fell to the ground, the sneezing fit getting the better
of him.
"There we go," Norei announced. "You've conquered your second trial.
And without a bit of magic!"
"This is all wrong!" Mother Duck wailed from her hiding place. "Where
have I failed?"
"You didn't put any talking wolves--," Jeffrey began.
"I know what it is," the old woman interrupted summarily. "I've been
warned about it. It's Fairy Tale Fatigue. We storytellers always have
to be aware of the syndrome." She heaved an exhausted sigh. "I had
always thought myself beyond it--until now--until I met--these
people."
"Think how much easier it would have been though," Jeffrey
interjected, "if you had had the buffer of a talk--"
"One more word out of you--," Mother Duck screamed, "--and you're
pumpernickel!" She called out to the rest of us: "I remind you, this
is the handsome prince's story. Anyone who interferes with the third
trial in any way will have to answer to me!"
And with that, we were once again surrounded by smoke.
"Norei!" I called to my beloved. "Behind me. I must face this trial
alone."
"Wuntvor--," she began, but the protest died in her throat. She knew
I was right. Our chances of escape, even victory, were far greater so
long as we did not incur the wrath of Mother Duck.
I heard a great rumbling through the impenetrable fog before me. I
knew, even before the smoke cleared, that it was the dragon.
"I have a question," Cuthbert's voice quailed from where I still held
it before me. "If you're going to face this menace
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alone, isn't it time you sheathed your sword?"
"Perhaps you are right," I replied, for I had thought of a plan.
"I'm right? I'm actually right? There's not going to be bloo--" The
sword's cries of jubilation were lost once he was back in the
scabbard.
I looked up to see that the smoke had cleared. There, before me, the [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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